I went down to 162.2 on Thursday morning. woohoooo!??
Only and except it is Sunday evening and I spent the last two days just cramming food into me. Even when I was totally full, even when I felt a bit of a headache coming on with the sugar.
What happened? Well…Friday I woke up feeling a bit depressed/dark. Then it was tremendously hot and the kids were in a bad mood from lack of sleep all week (school started), and then we had guests coming and they brought dessert…and I ate dessert. And then I ate another bowl of dessert a few minutes later. I woke up Saturday morning to find myself at 164.4 in weight. Today it was even higher (165). I’m sure tomorrow will be even more so.
I am reminded it is so much less depressing and much more empowering to forgo sugar altogether. Is a few minutes of sweets on the lips worth this swift downward slide into madness? Yes those first few bites are yummy and fun but by the next day when I felt all sneaky and totally unfocused on anything except getting the next bite, it felt like I was back in slavery.
What do I need to do when I am tempted by desserts? Remind myself to ‘taste and see that the LORD is good”.
What should I do when I wake up feeling dark and down? Focus on just scraping through the checklist, somehow, anyhow.
As you can tell by the title, I did not focus on my checklist at all the last few days and it shows. The whole point is just progress not perfection. Just something to hold onto when things are rough.
Tonight I am going to hold on to Him who is the only one who can handle all of me and my crazy. After all, don’t I believe that this weight thing is just my path to discovering Him? Yes a thousand times YES. I am reminded again how much I need Him, want Him…and for the first time this weekend my mind eases ever so lightly. Amen.