And all of sudden I’m under 165….very grateful to God! It is His grace in my life.
I was just thinking to myself that I have been losing and gaining the same 10 pounds for the last year (between 172 and 162). Picture perfect yo yo dieting going on here. Apparently this is unhealthier than straight up just being stably (is that a word?) overweight.
What keeps happening? Once my weight goes over 170, I feel blah and fat and flabby and decide to get serious, buckle down and the pounds start dropping slowly off. This of course takes like 2 months or so. Then I get a bit arrogant and a bit excited and I decide to relax little on what I can eat. So a little white rice goes in…some random dessert….and before you know it, the carb monster is released. I feel like eating everything in sight. Argh!! and of course within a week or (max!!) two, I have obliterated 2 months of careful, focussed (mostly, lolz!) eating.
So that is why at the end of 2016 it felt like I had spent SO much time eating well and trying so hard and then being frustrated as I went no where in the weight department. For a large part of the year I was working hard. Unfortunately , when I lost focus in those short intervals, the weight just FLIED back on my body .
Story of every attempt at changing anything right? To build something is much easier than to tear it down.
What is different this time? I’m not completely sure and I am honestly SCARED. One thing is that I am totally focussing on God and seriously going after discipline (as a means to Him). It really helps to be praying about losing weight and gaining discipline almost every day. It keeps me humble and focussed.
I am also eating in a way that makes me happy and I have recently figured out how to enjoy even South Asian curries without compromising my eating style. Rice is my downfall often! Cauliflower rice was just toooo much work. But now I just enjoy the same curries over some hearty leafy fresh greens (kale is a fave because we have an abundance in our garden). For some reason, this tastes delicious to me. The heat and spice and sauce of the curry softens up the leaves and the leaves are plain enough that it is a good foil for the flavours. May not work for everyone but it has solved a major problem for me. Being South Asian and having been raised on these curries, it was a consistent point of failure.
The other big area of downfall is dessert/sweet things. I have just been abstaining in this department for the most part. I find if I do not release the carb monster then I mostly don’t even care to have any. To abstain completely is much easier than controlling portions – at least for me. I have once or twice had one small spoonful from hubby’s special dessert but I stop right there so as to keep carb monster at bay. This strategy has actually been working.
The other thing that has been great is having my checklist. During the last 18 days of healthy disciplines, I have not once had a total loss of control over food. The closest was that day about a week ago that I blogged about where I just kept eating on plan foods. Having the checklist keeps me focussed on healthy things I can do for myself and keeps me lasered on what is important for me to do to take care of myself. It really has been super helpful.
We will see how this goes in terms of when I get to that hallowed 162-161 range. To actually get to 159 and be stable there seems like a miracle but that is what my mini-goal is right now. I would really feel like I have turned a corner in this battle if I could get there.