Midnight Craving

Everyone is sleeping and I was laying awake when suddenly I thought of the delicious roasted, spiced cashews I had been gifted with earlier today.

Me want cashews.

But where will this end?  Back in the infinity loop of insanity and frustration of my almost 40 years.  Lose 2 pounds, gain 1 pound, lose 1 pound, gain 4….ad nauseum.  Rinse and repeat, welcome to my boring, navel gazing no real problems having life.

3 things are stopping me from running downstairs and filling the gullet with tasty cashews:

  1.  Promise to my husband:  I promised him I would not have anymore after breaking them out after dinner.  Integrity in even the littlest things matter.  They matter A LOT.  I find when I am in the grip of food addiction, integrity goes out the window.  I have lied to my husband many times about food (and then confessed eventually- most of the time…)  I just do not want to be that kind of person.  God did not give me Jesus for me to live such a low, flesh-based life.
  2. Taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8)  For some reason this scripture has been resonating in me the last 2-3 days.  I was listening/reading spiritual resources about overcoming addictions and one thing that stood out to me is that I need to fill up on God first, not so much focus on developing control around food/learning to say no to it.  When I was tempted by desserts at a social gathering today (melted ice cream (my fave!), cheesecake), I repeated this passage to myself and it focused me back on my goal: to know the sweetness of God, to be filled by God.  It was the same tonight.
  3. Writing a blog post:  I have said it before and I will say it again, writing is so therapeutic for me.  Just thinking that I could get up and just write a blog post really steered me clear from the midnight snack idea.  It gave me something else to look forward to instead of just a food high…(which leads me to think I may be a little bored…but that is a story for another post).  I wish I could remember to write (and have the space and time to write) every time food havoc is on the horizon.

 

Bottom line, I am happy to report that I am no longer craving those cashews.  Mission accomplished.  Good night 🙂

 

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