So I’ve been thinking a lot about why there has been so much craziness around food ?recently? Certainly, restrictive diets don’t help. I also feel this pressure to get this right for my children’s sake. And I have no solutions….so I started listening to messages on the Bible (long story but I have been feeling burnt out by reading the Bible and it has been a struggle to feel connected to God…but I had no where else to turn) and came across one which discussed John 15.
“Remain in me and I will remain in me. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine…” John 15:4
In the past, I would have read that passage once and moved on…but since I decided to give up trying to be all that I am supposed to be (according to me) (bible guru that kind of thing)….I thought I would simply just read this passage every day this week and think about it. Pray about it. Read a commentary saying that it is two parts one that we make choices to do what is right (remaining in Him) and two that we depend on Him to fulfill those choices (Him remaining in us). That was a really useful and practical for me. This week when both kids were sleeping and I walked by the Second Cup, I just prayed to God that he would give me the strength to pass on by. And for whatever reason, I did not think of it again. Praise God.
I am also really grateful to my husband because this week one morning he found crumbles from my night escapade with pecan tarts (again!) and instead of getting mad at me and really emotional he had an honest and humble talk with me about how it made him feel….and in fact the first thing he asked was were you feeling overwhelmed? (something I had asked him to ask me since when I am turning to food like that it is more about stress and anxiety more than anything else)….It was so good to feel his support and get his honest opinion about things and talk about my failings (yes, I was feeling childish last night) without condemnation but with expressions of wanting to help and understand. He also encouraged me that moment to just get up and go work out which was also a helpful thing to do. (not to work out calories necessarily but really just to get into a health positive frame of mind again….I tend to so have the all or nothing , black and white thinking of ‘well I ate those pecan tarts, might as well just eat the ice cream….instead of saying “stop now’ …move
on…working out reminded me that I wanted to do good things for my health). I appreciated his calmness, honesty and his solution oriented demeanor. This was NOT easy for him as he is very concerned about my health.
Anyway, that is my update. Started my daily quiet times more of a priority (focussing on Remain in me) and working out….baby steps, my friends.