Today has been a tough day for all my theories of humanity and child rearing. Things have not gone as planned. My two year old has a diaper rash and I have had to force some diaper changes (she hates having her diaper changed!) and putting medication on the rash. I know that it is important to have limits and boundaries for children but how do you enforce them in a respectful and loving way with a two year old?
The primal/continumm concept peeps would say it is important to be the leader; say things one with full and utter confidence that it will be followed or better yet say nothing and let the child just be pulled along by a desire to do what she observes all the others in the tribe are doing….problem is there are so many more requirements of children in our society and not the same cohesive and exclusive community the primal child was privileged to experience.
Neufeld (“Hold onto your Kids” and kohen (“unconditional parenting”) have a slightly different take of preserving the relationship and letting that relationship pull the child along,
I guess what I am saying is that I want to be kind and loving towards my child and respect her personhood but I also need to establish that I am the gracious leader in her life, that there are certain limits and boundaries that I will not allow her to cross and thus not neglect her (e.g. let her stay in wet diapers to increase the rash)…how exactly to do this?
….I know I have stopped making sense but i guess now I’m just making notes for myself for future reference….
…but ARGH!! none of these ruminations help me in my present troubles…haha…:)
I guess the toughest part of this is my perspective that I need to have this whole thing figured out and niggling fear that I am failing/failing her as a parent. I think that anxiety coupled with the tossing around in my head trying to find creative solutions is what is tiring me out most of all. It is so true that the battle is always lost and won in the mind.
I feel like God is showing me that I cannot be so arrogant to look down on all the parents around and that have gone before me…haha. A tantrum can cut you down to size quickly…(wry smile)
I just spent a lot of the morning praying in my head for humility and guidance from Him regarding raising my child. I waver between absolute confidence that I have found the only true way and right way to raise humanity and paralyzing fear that I am going to raise a hellion. Seriously it is that extreme. Hence the need for humility.