I was spending time with a mom when she pulled out her little boy’s snack….jam on white wonder bread. She laughed as she gave it to him and said that he just gobbles these sandwiches up and that she makes it for him regularly. It made me feel a bit faint of heart because I have been reading all about the horrors of sugar and processed foods. I kept my mouth shout though. I did not want to come off as a sanctimonious twit….maybe she knew all the research and still made this choice….It is her prerogative right?
Similarly when I heard that another friend feeds her child in front of the television (only educational programming)….never mind that TV for children under 2 is a decided no no (again according to the research) but I was even more concerned about the fact this child was being distracted from discerning their internal satiation cues which cannot bode well. When I probed just a little about this matter it turns out the mother is really determined to feed the child ‘x’ amount and actually depends on the screen time to do exactly what I feared; distract him so that she could get more into him. And to that again I reluctantly shook my head (internally) and said nothing. As someone who continues to struggle to hear AND listen to her body’s fullness and hunger cues, it saddened me to think of this kid’s possible future struggles with obesity. Let’s hope I’m just being a dramatic doomsayer…
This kind of stuff happens all around me now that I am fully immersed in the world of mommy. Honestly, I struggle not to feel a tad bit superior to all these moms who just obviously have not done their ‘research’….(sounds horrible right…but it is true…consider this a confession). I have to remind myself that each parent is doing the best they can considering their knowledge and available resources especially in terms of support. I don’t what I would do if I did not have a great husband and family and friends that help me to care for my little one….certainly would not have the time nor head space to do research and look down my nose at others (not that the latter is such a good thing…yikes!) I have to also remind myself that there are PLENTY of things I do as a mom that could have others get their judge on too…just to keep me honest AND humble…here’s a list for your judging pleasure:
– she sleeps really late (like sometimes at 11 pm) and wakes up late
– sometimes she goes like 3-4 days without a full bath (we do wash her up at the sink every night)
– I have no regular set meal times or nap times for her….we really just go by the seat of our pants
– I often forget to wash her hands before/after eating AND going potty
– a lot of her clothes are stained (what can I say? domestic goddess I am not…although I do try to make sure she wears clean clothes out)
…and of course this is just off the top of my head. Some of it is because of good ole’ research (e.g. I’ve read bathing too much and being too concerned about hygiene is bad for baby skin and immune system…a too sterile environment does not allow her system to develop strongly)…some of it cause I’m just plain lazy or disorganized….so there you have it. So there you have it….I’m a self-confessed mommy snob but have no right to be….:) I guess we each focus our limited resources on the things we think our important…as well we should.