(I know we missed a few vital days in there BUT in my defence I have an over 1 year old who still does not sleep through the night….haha…but she’s cute so I’m keeping her…in case anyone’s wondering 🙂
I used to joke that I have an addictive personality. If I tried to stop chocolate then I would be hooked on marshamallows…and if I tried to stop food addictions then it would be screen time (non stop Korean dramas was a particularly crazy phase which saw me watching through the night and then going to work….tirrrrrreeeed!)
….but I’m thinking after today’s lesson that maybe it is just that there is a God-sized hole in my heart and I have tried unsuccessfully to fill that with all sorts of other things other than Him…..and since those things do not fulfill and don’t fit the hole…I keep having to go back for more and more of the addiction du jour.
In John 4 we see Jesus meeting a woman at the well (going there for normal water). Very famous passage where Jesus lets this woman know that he knows about her serial relationship history (she has had 5 husbands and now currently lives with another man) and that He can provide her with ‘living water’ that can truly ‘quench’ her thirst. This living water is Jesus himself….He is saying if she accepts him and ‘drinks’ from him, He will be able to meet the desperate need she has that makes her run from relationship to relationship seeking satisfaction where none can be found. With each new relationship she only found she needed another.
(sound familiar, yup…that is what I do with food when I am on a food binge bender….sometimes I keep eating and eating and eating but that hole never fills up even though physically I can identify that I am full, even painfully full…but I feel the urge to just keep on eating…argh!)
From my long experiences with God, I can also clearly remember those times when my heart was filled by Him and the peace, fullness (physical and spiritual) is like none other. So far quenching my thirst in Him has been the only cure I have found in the world for my anxieties and emptiness.
…and I believe that is exactly how He meant it to be.
(despite my doubts and struggles and faith wavering at this time, it is good to relflect on this truth that has been borne from my experiences – I have found no other solution that actually ‘works’ for me other than Christ)