Dear God

I just wanted to say hi.  I’m sorry I keep getting distracted despite the fact that my sweet husband gave me this time away from the little one to connect with you.

You are worthy of my undivided attention.

I was thinking a little bit about your humility.  I cannot possibly begin to grasp the sweetness and lowliness of a God who would come down and be with us.  Walk in our shoes.  Suffer what we are suffering.

Thank you for being with me.

Your word consistently says that you are enough….”your grace is sufficient’.  I have experienced…I am greedy to know this again.  HOW GOD?  HOW CAN I ONCE AGAIN BE FREE BEFORE YOU?

I think partly it comes from honesty.  I am so not free with so many people in my life.  And it begins with honesty with you.  Not the other way around as I try so often to do.

God, honestly, I feel so hardened in heart and overwhelmed.  Please soften my heart and help me to throw off the ‘sin that so freely entangles’.  Jesus says he came to give life (ugh! sorry just got distracted again), and life to the fullest.  I have been blessed by YOU with everything earth has to offer and I can surely see that without having you, the greatest prize, everything else is nothing.

…and this is where I get confused.  Nothing and no one is stopping me from drawing near to you…in fact you invite me to come….so why do I find this so hard?  I believe it is the ‘pet sins’, that I harbour in my heart since your word says that it is my ‘inquity which separates me from my God.’   I guess I am my own stumbling block.

So help me, please?

Help me please?

I don’t want to live life without you.  I don’t want to be away from you in this life or the next.  You are worth everything to me.

(please help me)

(I need you despite what my bolstering and posturing looks like)

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