Just had a fight with…

….my boss.

I feel like such a raw beast these days.  I don’t know what it is…maybe I’m consuming too much chocolate?  Get out of the way people or you may lose a limb….roar!

What was the fight about?  Well basically I told her that I didn’t think she was putting in enough time  at the office because

whenever I turn around the woman is off doing personal things. 

Was it my place to do this?  Was I out of line?  No and yes (unfortunately).

I was not giving her much grace and really looking down my nose at her.  I really don’t know where I get off with this arrogance of mine.  Honestly it is terrible!

She explained to me that she does a lot of work at home that obviously I don’t know about.  Whether this is true or not, is not really the issue.  In my self-righteousness, I forgot one of my most important rules for living…simply, ‘the only person I should focus on changing is ME’. 

Who cares if my boss doesn’t get her work done?  Yes, it does make my role more challenging because I have to pick up some of that slack BUT at the end of the day my real boss is God and God alone.  He is who I look up to and who I would like to honour with my work.

It has been a rough week and I am reawakened to how dangerous it is to not be close to God.  With God, I am small, humble and peaceful.  Without Him, sin blinds, until all you can focus on is other people’s sin…stewing in your anger, hurt…spewing some of that venom like I did today.

Ugh!  I am reminded of King “Nebuch…” (sp?) who God led out into the wilderness and he was literally a brute beast.  Today I got a flash of the woman I am without God’s rescue from the brute beast inside of me……angry, self-righteous, judgmental, sarcastic, mean, deceitful, gossipy, greedy….(do I need to continue????)

I find nothing appealing or honourable about this woman.  She is not who I want to be or become. 

As painful and humbling as it was, I wrote an email apologizing to my boss.  Hopefully, we can work things out.

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One response to “Just had a fight with…

  1. ‘the only person I should focus on changing is ME’.

    great rule to live by. i’ll steal this one for sure. it becomes a necessity as we go deeper in relationships with our fellow beings.

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