I feel like such a raw beast these days. I don’t know what it is…maybe I’m consuming too much chocolate? Get out of the way people or you may lose a limb….roar!
What was the fight about? Well basically I told her that I didn’t think she was putting in enough time at the office because
whenever I turn around the woman is off doing personal things.
Was it my place to do this? Was I out of line? No and yes (unfortunately).
I was not giving her much grace and really looking down my nose at her. I really don’t know where I get off with this arrogance of mine. Honestly it is terrible!
She explained to me that she does a lot of work at home that obviously I don’t know about. Whether this is true or not, is not really the issue. In my self-righteousness, I forgot one of my most important rules for living…simply, ‘the only person I should focus on changing is ME’.
Who cares if my boss doesn’t get her work done? Yes, it does make my role more challenging because I have to pick up some of that slack BUT at the end of the day my real boss is God and God alone. He is who I look up to and who I would like to honour with my work.
It has been a rough week and I am reawakened to how dangerous it is to not be close to God. With God, I am small, humble and peaceful. Without Him, sin blinds, until all you can focus on is other people’s sin…stewing in your anger, hurt…spewing some of that venom like I did today.
Ugh! I am reminded of King “Nebuch…” (sp?) who God led out into the wilderness and he was literally a brute beast. Today I got a flash of the woman I am without God’s rescue from the brute beast inside of me……angry, self-righteous, judgmental, sarcastic, mean, deceitful, gossipy, greedy….(do I need to continue????)
I find nothing appealing or honourable about this woman. She is not who I want to be or become.
As painful and humbling as it was, I wrote an email apologizing to my boss. Hopefully, we can work things out.