TMF Nov 19/09 – 163.4

Failure – FAILURE – Failure – Failed! 

(this is what I am tempted to feel since I not only didn’t reach my goal…I went a few pounds in the opposite direction…argh!!)

If you have been following the ever winsome tales of my well-covered friend Morris, then you will notice that the last few weeks have been an upward trend….NOW, am I discouraged?  Honestly, yeah….and in celebration of the defeat I ate 2 MCD susauge & egg mcstuffins [sic] (for those unaware, that’s a cool way of denoting I delibrately made a mistake or something like that) hash brown, a donut and a large hot chocolate.  I was full after the doughnut (had to look up and use the British spelling…even if I ate at Mickey Dees…I haven’t completely sold my Canadian soul to the devil!) but I just kept stuffing the food in because a) it tasted good and b) it allowed me to zone out and just focus on the eating.  (weird the last part huh?  I’ll need to explore that another time…) 

Even though I tired to pray, I felt so distracted…..but you know what? Failure is NOT an option.  All the things that I am attempting to overcome is what life is all about….God has already won me every victory in Christ and it is only Satan (the Father of Lies) who tries to make me feel like a failure. 

Honestly (I have to keep using the word ‘honestly’ because it reminds me to be honest…hehe…hard for me!) I haven’t been very respectful of my body or emotions in the last few weeks.  I love working out…it is the what-is-going-on-in-my-mind (thoughts) and what-I-put-in-my-mouth (aka eating) part that gets me going in this upward direction. 

Next week my goal will be to be down 2 pounds to 161.4 and I’m giving myself a reward when I get there.  Hard for me to choose a reward…because I’m so saintly (or spoil myself way too much!…I can’t decide which??), there is not a whole that I want or need (other than a chocolate bar anytime, anywhere).  Since the latter would defeat the purpose of my behaviour modification experimenting with rewards, I’m going to have to be creative about how to reward myself.  (ooohh…an evening reading in bed…!! that sounds fun….I’ll let you guys know next week what I decided upon WHEN I reach my goal 🙂

So here’s to a priority keeping, journaling, butt-kicking exercising, being honest and real WEEK….(upwards…(or should I say:) downwards and onwards!)





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