Perfectionism

Can I be honest?

The reason I have not written here for about a week is because of my perfectionistic tendencies….blame Paula Perfectionist for the lack of posts…

Paula, you bully,…here’s talking to you:

1.  This blog is for me, to express myself creatively.  I don’t care if it is shallow,  incoherent or boring OR even if there are spelling/grammar mistakes (the horror!).  This always was and always will be for me…I HOPE that others might find some use, inspiration, and/or entertainment, but that is not the end goal.

2.  You are right that I have to be careful about what I say BUT one of my ultimate goals is to live in the light, be transparent with my life.  Other than for the sake of my personal safety and to respect others’ privacy, I am not going to second guess myself constantly.

3.    The journey is by in large the point…not getting there. The PROCESS of writing is the accomplishment I seek.  Yes, it might be a good thing to know where I am going with this…but somehow there is this instinct in me that just says write.  I have this confidence that I will find my way through the process of doing.

4.  There will never be the perfect thing to say, nor the perfect order in which to say it.

5.  Yes, I would love to have a theme, consistency, marketing appeal, etc.  In theory I agree with all that stuff…BUT my life is right now not in place where I can focus on that…I just want to write, perhaps by just bumbling along….but I want to write. 

6.  Having too many ideas is is a good thing….so I will not let you make me feel guilty or overwhelmed about this issue.  I’m just going to write what I feel like writing….

(people, how messed up am I?  I’m not only talking to myself (which you lucky peeps get to be privy to) BUT I’m also currently feeling GUILTY for drawing boundaries with Paula AND selfish (!?!?) for saying that I will write whatever I want?…we’ve clearly got a lot of work to do ….hehe)

Okay, that cleared the air….see you tomorrow! 🙂

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