The choice to love…

…is a defining moment.

When my sister died 10 years ago, a lot of hypocrisy was unveiled to me regarding the church I attended and amongst our friends.    For example, many of the people who were supposed to be her ‘friends’ stopped coming around as she lay there dying.  She felt very alone in those last days and it filled me with anger.   I remember saying that I hated people but loved God – that is why I still came to church.

 I returned to love after three hard, cold years realizing the following;

1.  Yes, people are not perfect, often hypocrites and will all fail you in one way or another – that is truth.  My problem was that I was expecting perfection in others and myself.  Once I realized that I was far from perfect and accepted myself through God’s gracious eyes (His perspective is always best), I was able to turn those gracious eyes on others.  I need and have been given unlimited grace…of course I can extend the same to all my fellow  beings suffering with the same human infliction of imperfection.

2.  God never asked me to trust people.  He asked me to trust Him.  Loving and giving to people is and always was ultimately an act of faith in God precisely because people are not trustworthy.  I am free to love and give to people because I trust that God has my back.

These hard won truths gave me such joy and freedom in my heart.  Loving people without expectation is difficult but oh so freeing.  There is such a pure and simple pleasure in giving….

I am reminded of all this today because a close family member has recently been asking me for a lot of favours.  Before they needed all these favours, I rarely heard from them.  I was tempted to feel sad because I wonder what will become of me once they no longer need me?  But I realized that is not what is important to me.  I do not want to concern myself with what loyalty I should be building or what the future holds.   I want to focus on the joy of giving…being grateful that I as a single person have the time and resources to help them (while of course respecting my limitations).  I rejoice in the gift of spending time with them, the pleasure of their company for however long God allows. 

Us people, we will always be people…fallible, imperfect, scoundrels.  Today, I choose love and I will try to do the same tomorrow and the next..

…..because love always wins.


One response to “The choice to love…

  1. Sanj, this blog really spoke to me. Thank you for this. I am in the midst of facing this right now. It’s hard…but, doable!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s