I came here to write because it has been a while (a week) and I really want to keep up the habit of writing.
I also came because there is only one week (exactly) left of April. Will I see a loss this month? Surely the last two weeks have not been my best though I did keep trying to be consistent…just got blown out of the water at times. Right now I have the familiar low level grrrrrrr for anything chocolate going on in my system. I’m sure it is all the sweets I consumed yesterday (and today) at social events throwing me off.
I don’t want to be this person. I have so many ideas and plans I want to get going on. I don’t want to feel that my life has passed me by.
It seems the only thing between me and my dreams is SUGAR (dramatic much??).
A few posts back, I mentioned how I manage the situation when I do eat outside of LCHF; basically expecting the cravings and just waiting them out.
But honestly? It is SO much easier just to avoid that challenging cycle altogether and just not eat things that trigger me. I mean look at me…2 weeks on and still not able to gather myself together after a deviation. Generally there are lots of delicious things to eat that fit within my eating plan and I really, really enjoy the clarity and peace with food that I experience when going low carb.
So what I am saying is that I plan on pretty much never eating another sweet thing ever again….don’t know if I will make it and I know it sounds crazy and not do-able…but like everything else in life there are choices. You literally can’t have your cake and it eat it too (which never made sense to me, but whatever) One night, my husband and I talked through the tradeoff I was making:
Eating whatever I want (even in moderation) means I am always in a cycle of struggling with food. I find myself hiding food, my focus narrowing to just food and I pretty much am always considering when I can get my sweet fix. BUT I get to experience sweet, sweet tasty pleasure for that one minute or so that I eat that thing. It is an intense, truly (cover your eyes children) orgasmic pleasure so not to be dismissed too readily.
Avoiding that stuff means that I feel a brief pang when faced with desserts (especially new desserts because I’m such a foodie) but it is easy enough to pass up and I don’t even think about it afterwards. Also:
-peace with food
-can focus at social gatherings on connecting with and serving others (core value for me)
-lose weight (life long struggle, the impetus of this blog)
-all the energy I focussed before on food and weight loss (very unsuccessfully mind you), can be directed to pursuing things that are so rejuvenating like writing on this blog, continuing to live out my values and finding my life’s passion. I mean look at all the blog posts I was writing here when the ‘food was calm’…I was writing so much that I could have posted two a day!! And now I was barely inspired to even start a post?? huge difference
-my husband says I’m a completely different person when I’m off the sugar, so much saner and together…and I feel that. My mind is focused, I’m more purposeful.
-alleviation of depressive symptoms. When I am going through sugar cycles I feel so tired and my mood can be all over the place…often I feel very down for no reason.
-physically I have so little energy…I just want to curl up in a ball and lay in bed ….thinking (my favourite pastime when I’m on the sugar)
-spiritually, I was experiencing a personal revival which has been so encouraging. I was getting up at 4 or 5 am and spending time with God and I am so grateful
-I can be a much better mother because of greater physical and mental energy
The question is really what all do I need to avoid to achieve this peace and clarity long term without too much struggle? (e.g. not giving up too much, but also not having to constantly battle craving feelings) Clearly for me sugar is the biggest deal…considering how the wheat threw me off…flour should also be on that list. In the past, too many sweet potatoes and rice got me into trouble. So there you go, no sugar or flour. Limited quantities of other grains/starches.
Seems simple enough. Off to take some small positive steps.